Recognizing Disordered Eating During the Holidays - And How to Take Care of Yourself
The holidays can be a mix of anticipation, connection, stress, and pressure. Between family gatherings, social events, and food-centric traditions, it’s common for old patterns around eating and body image to resurface. For many men, these patterns stay quiet most of the year but come forward during the holiday season, when expectations around food, appearance, and “indulgence” are louder than usual.
If you’ve struggled with body shame, rigid food rules, binge–restrict cycles, or comparison to other men, this time of year can feel particularly heavy. The good news is that these patterns are understandable responses to pressure, not personal failures. And with some awareness and support, you can move through the season with more steadiness and self-kindness.
Below are signs you may be slipping into disordered eating during the holidays, along with practical ways to care for yourself at gatherings with friends and family.
Signs You May Be Struggling With Disordered Eating This Season
1. Feeling anxious about holiday meals
If you find yourself worrying for days about what will be served, how much you should eat, or how to “make up for it” at the gym, this might be a sign that food has become loaded with shame or fear rather than nourishment and connection.
2. Trying to “earn” or “burn off” holiday food
Maybe you’re pushing yourself through harder workouts, skipping meals beforehand, or planning restrictive days after. When eating becomes something you need to compensate for, it’s often a red flag for disordered eating patterns.
3. Feeling out of control around food
If you alternate between intense restraint and moments where you feel like you’re “losing control” or secretly overeating, that’s a signal your body is trying to protect you from restriction — not proof that you lack discipline.
4. Increased body checking
Noticing more time spent in the mirror, comparing yourself at gatherings, or obsessing over how your clothes fit? Body checking usually ramps up when you’re feeling vulnerable or disconnected from yourself.
5. Using alcohol to manage discomfort
Alcohol can feel like it takes the edge off social or body-related anxiety, but relying on it to get through holiday events can blur your ability to tune into what you actually need.
6. Feeling guilt or shame after eating
If every plate becomes a moral test — “I was good / I was bad” — your relationship with food may be under strain. Food doesn’t create shame; shame shows up when you’re carrying beliefs about worth, discipline, or body size that need care.
How to Take Care of Yourself at Holiday Gatherings
Here are some ways to stay grounded, nourished, and connected to yourself during the holidays — without falling into rigid rules or shame cycles.
1. Eat consistently throughout the day
Skipping meals to “save up” for a bigger dinner tends to backfire. Regular eating helps regulate hunger cues, reduces binge–restrict cycles, and keeps your mood more stable. Your body deserves steady nourishment.
2. Give yourself full permission to eat
Let yourself enjoy the foods you love. Removing the “good” and “bad” labels can reduce anxiety and help you feel more present. Permission reduces urgency; restriction increases it.
3. Build in moments to breathe and check in
Step away to the bathroom, take a walk around the block, or find a quiet room for two minutes. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? Comfort? Space? Water? A break from conversation? These small pauses help you return to your body when things feel overwhelming.
4. Have an exit plan
It’s okay to leave early or step outside if you’re feeling overstimulated or dysregulated. You’re not being dramatic or rude by taking care of yourself.
5. Set boundaries around triggering conversations
If people start commenting on bodies, diets, or how “bad” they’ve been with food, you have options: shift the topic, excuse yourself, or gently name that those conversations don’t feel helpful. Your mental health matters more than someone’s diet small talk.
6. Stay connected to people who support you
Text a friend before or after an event. Build a little “support bubble” for yourself. It can make a huge difference to know you’re not carrying everything alone.
7. Bring or request foods that feel safe and grounding
If having a few familiar or “safe” foods helps you feel calmer, there’s nothing wrong with planning ahead and bringing something.
8. Slow down your inner critic
When shame gets loud, try this: Place a hand on your chest or stomach and say, “I’m allowed to enjoy this. My body deserves to be fed. I don’t have to earn my place here.” It may feel awkward at first, but it can shift something inside.
You’re Not Alone If This Season Feels Complicated
The holidays can stir up old wounds, especially around food, body image, and belonging. If you’re noticing anxiety, guilt, or pressure to manage your body in ways that feel hard, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human, responding to a culture that makes this season even more complicated for many men.
If you want support navigating disordered eating, body shame, or food anxiety this winter, I’m here. This work is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.
