Therapy for gay men ready to go deeper.
Sessions online across ma, me, NY & FL
You're capable, self-aware, and probably the person other people turn to when things get hard. You've worked through a lot — or at least you've managed it. You came out, you built a life, you kept moving forward.
And yet, there's a version of closeness you haven't quite been able to reach. Relationships that stall at a certain point, or feel fine on the surface but not quite real underneath. A low-level anxiety that shows up when someone gets too close — or doesn't get close enough. A tendency to hold the more complicated parts of yourself back, even with people you trust.
Sometimes it traces back to family — to the years before you came out, the way love in your house felt conditional, the things that were never said or never repaired. Sometimes it's harder to name than that. It's just a sense that something feels off or unfinished.
You’ve built a life that looks good from the outside.
Meet your therapist.
Hey, I'm Matt — a gay psychologist based in Boston. I came out in 2010, and I've spent years doing my own work alongside this work with clients. I understand the particular shape of these struggles for gay men — not as an outside observer, but as someone who's navigated them. You won't have to explain the context. We can just get into it. Learn more about how I work.
How we’ll work together
Therapy with a gay man who gets it.
A lot of gay men I work with come in looking polished and leave feeling like they finally got to say the thing they've been carrying for years. That's not an accident — this is a space designed for exactly that.
We'll look at where the patterns started. The way love and acceptance felt earned rather than given growing up. The habits you developed to stay safe — staying likable, staying a little guarded, not asking for too much. Those strategies made sense then, but in your adult relationships, they tend to get in the way.
We'll also look at the particular weight of growing up gay in a world that wasn't built for you — the things you absorbed about who you were before you even had language for it, and how that's shaped what you believe you deserve now.
Over time, this work tends to make relationships feel easier to navigate. The anxiety that shows up around closeness starts to ease. You get better at knowing what you want and asking for it. Things feel less like performance and more like you.
You deserve a place where you’re understood at your core and can share openly without fear of judgment.
What becomes possible.
What we’ll work towards:
Relationships that go deeper: Less managing, more actually being there. Closeness starts to feel safer and less like something to protect yourself from.
Less anxiety around intimacy: The pull-push patterns in relationships start to make sense — and gradually lose their grip.
Peace with your family history: Not necessarily resolution with them — but less weight carrying it. The old wounds stop running the show.
Less dependent on external validation: Your sense of yourself stops rising and falling based on how others respond to you.
Room for the parts you hide: The more complicated, less presentable parts of yourself start to feel safer to acknowledge — and eventually, to share.
Less performing, more presence: You spend less energy managing how you come across and more energy actually being in the room.
questions? I’ve got answers.
Frequently asked questions
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Absolutely. While this page is written with gay men in mind, my practice is welcoming to people across the full spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. The most important thing is fit — if the work I do resonates with what you're looking for, I'd love to connect. The free consultation is a good place to start.
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Primarily psychodynamic and IFS-informed, which means we'll spend time understanding how the patterns that developed early in your life are showing up now — in relationships, in how you see yourself, in what you let people see. This is long-term work, but it’s the kind of therapy that can bring lasting change.
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That's one of the most common things I hear. You don't need a dramatic backstory for the past to have shaped you. Growing up gay in a family that simply didn't know how to see you — even a loving one — leaves a mark. We can work with that.
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Yes, but these aren't areas I specialize in or have extensive experience with, so if this is a priority for you, we may not be a great fit.
