You matched with an attractive guy on a dating app. You exchange a few messages and something feels promising. And then, almost immediately, something else kicks in. You start wondering if you're interesting and attractive enough to keep his attention.

There's a condition that affects gay men at disproportionate rates, shows up in gyms across every major city, and almost never gets named for what it is. Muscle dysmorphia is classified as a body dysmorphic disorder, but its relationship to disordered eating is close enough that the two are rarely separable in practice. From the outside, none of that is visible. It looks like dedication, discipline, and commitment to an active and healthy lifestyle.

Body image and eating disorders affect gay men at disproportionate rates, yet the conversation rarely includes us. A gay psychologist and researcher explains why the struggle hits differently, and what it actually looks like to get support.

This Pride Month, I’ve been spending time each morning reading stories from The AIDS Memorial—honoring the lives of LGBTQ+ people lost during the crisis of the 80s and 90s. It’s emotional and often heartbreaking, but for me, it’s a way to grieve, remember, and stay connected to the legacy I’ve inherited. Pride is a celebration—but it’s also a tribute.

With LGBTQ+ rights and DEI under attack, it’s normal to feel anxious and unsafe. These aren’t irrational fears. They’re deeply valid responses to a climate that is, in fact, hostile. And if you’re feeling anxious, angry, exhausted, or numb—you’re not overreacting. You’re reacting appropriately to a culture that keeps telling you you’re a problem to solve or a threat to neutralize.

Body image concerns are often portrayed as universal, yet they can show up in distinct ways for LGBTQ+ individuals. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, body image struggles intersect with identity, cultural expectations, and societal pressures in ways that can feel deeply personal—and incredibly isolating.

For many LGBTQ+ individuals, the upcoming Trump administration may bring up feelings of fear, uncertainty, and frustration. While you may not have control over political outcomes, you do have control over how you take care of yourself and respond to these challenges.